I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
