We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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