You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
