He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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