Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
