why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
