so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
