dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
