I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Congratulations! We have a period
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