All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
