In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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