Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
