Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
