ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
