Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
