Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3950) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  people are starting to question the shark bite story

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  (321): people are starting to question the shark bite story http://tfl.nu/6iki
  Replies (19) Good night (4065) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does

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  (248): Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest (248): If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does http://tfl.nu/2sf6
  Replies (10) Good night (7636) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.

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  (740): Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table. http://tfl.nu/st2h
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (4945)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively

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  (845): you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively http://tfl.nu/v9v6
  Replies (1) Good night (1974) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.

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  (360): Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours. http://tfl.nu/m716
  Replies (4) Good night (586) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.

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  (250): Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza. http://tfl.nu/3z2i
  Replies (9) Good night (2102) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.

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  (870): I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward. http://tfl.nu/2glp
  Replies (8) Good night (1435) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.

  (925): View more from California

  he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!

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  (510): in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water. (925): he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy! http://tfl.nu/d51r
  Replies (5) Good night (1042) Bad night (1744)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.

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  (204): We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day. http://tfl.nu/b3rk
  Replies (15) Good night (3910) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.

  (805): View more from California

  Why do I even exist?

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  (805): I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all. (805): Why do I even exist? http://tfl.nu/rs2d
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.

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  (603): Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by. http://tfl.nu/jwsa
  Replies (2) Good night (1245) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"

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  (305): I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me" http://tfl.nu/ic9y
  Replies (0) Good night (594) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex

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  (425): I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex http://tfl.nu/6oq4
  Replies (0) Good night (815) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted

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  (914): Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted http://tfl.nu/b7is
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (253)

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