Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Randomize
