he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
