hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.