Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.

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(440): she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2. http://tfl.nu/9o14

Replies (140) Good night (814) Bad night (5866)
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(310): View more from California

she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.

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(310): she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category. http://tfl.nu/bs6u

Replies (55) Good night (735) Bad night (11430)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

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(919): Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously? http://tfl.nu/b5p0

Replies (71) Good night (2009) Bad night (6530)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out

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(732): Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out http://tfl.nu/au0t

Replies (33) Good night (2808) Bad night (5793)
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(509): View more from Washington

I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

(909): View more from California

I'm scared to ask why.....

(509): View more from Washington

1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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(509): I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM (909): I'm scared to ask why..... (509): 1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare. http://tfl.nu/ztpp

Replies (13) Good night (4821) Bad night (914)
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(206): View more from Washington

He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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(206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri

Replies (13) Good night (2088) Bad night (3568)
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(850): View more from Florida

the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people

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(850): the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people http://tfl.nu/zcj8

Replies (3) Good night (1566) Bad night (738)
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(516): View more from New York

my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing

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(516): my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing http://tfl.nu/sqvp

Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (1322)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...

(1+44): View more from

That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh

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(+44): You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl... (1+44): That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh http://tfl.nu/agy9

Replies (23) Good night (4263) Bad night (1096)
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(509): View more from Washington

idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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(509): idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow. http://tfl.nu/e8dm

Replies (7) Good night (2319) Bad night (669)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?

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(541): Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am? http://tfl.nu/ak1s

Replies (10) Good night (1536) Bad night (409)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.

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(440): Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car. http://tfl.nu/ebaa

Replies (6) Good night (2335) Bad night (735)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom

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(616): Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom http://tfl.nu/kxki

Replies (3) Good night (1375) Bad night (584)
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(772): View more from Florida

The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person

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(772): The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person http://tfl.nu/qxco

Replies (1) Good night (839) Bad night (410)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.

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(215): Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke. http://tfl.nu/g0ji

Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (225)

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