Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I

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  (516): Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I<3 NY. http://tfl.nu/f30c
  Replies (54) Good night (4997) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..

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  (651): You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold.. http://tfl.nu/rd4a
  Replies (18) Good night (5757) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in

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  (740): this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in http://tfl.nu/i6mo
  Replies (13) Good night (3333) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (234): View more from Ohio

  omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic

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  (234): omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic http://tfl.nu/8g4p
  Replies (12) Good night (6290) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?

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  (256): oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me? http://tfl.nu/06bl
  Replies (20) Good night (1127) Bad night (5659)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.

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  (512): You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye. http://tfl.nu/ovu6
  Replies (28) Good night (4243) Bad night (2656)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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  (724): i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that. http://tfl.nu/tj9k
  Replies (6) Good night (5565) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

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  (918): like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness. http://tfl.nu/c3xi
  Replies (7) Good night (1352) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

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  (706): Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain. http://tfl.nu/4t48
  Replies (11) Good night (2355) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

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  (314): I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads. http://tfl.nu/vfmt
  Replies (6) Good night (2632) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her

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  (856): and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her http://tfl.nu/d5zb
  Replies (2) Good night (1626) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way

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  (203): He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way http://tfl.nu/eve3
  Replies (9) Good night (2487) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Keep it.

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  (419): I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate... (567): Keep it. http://tfl.nu/x8n2
  Replies (0) Good night (986) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??

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  (+44): My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts?? http://tfl.nu/jz5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1403) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson

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  (804): I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson http://tfl.nu/bost
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (286)

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