Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka