Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.

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  (724): I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass. http://tfl.nu/otet
  Replies (35) Good night (957) Bad night (8160)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Worst stoner tragedy.

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  (262): I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo. (715): Worst stoner tragedy. http://tfl.nu/7uyr
  Replies (41) Good night (1919) Bad night (6404)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.

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  (703): I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single. http://tfl.nu/3gnr
  Replies (70) Good night (1258) Bad night (6720)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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  (248): Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks. http://tfl.nu/vf46
  Replies (89) Good night (1488) Bad night (22546)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

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  (651): Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you. http://tfl.nu/jbfy
  Replies (28) Good night (9113) Bad night (1437)
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  (858): View more from California

  I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.

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  (858): I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way. http://tfl.nu/w85x
  Replies (26) Good night (15072) Bad night (1128)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever

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  (330): fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever http://tfl.nu/itin
  Replies (11) Good night (5097) Bad night (1155)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...

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  (404): Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash... http://tfl.nu/kodu
  Replies (10) Good night (929) Bad night (4786)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again

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  (248): The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again http://tfl.nu/1sak
  Replies (15) Good night (1197) Bad night (4844)
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  (949): View more from California

  i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day

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  (949): i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day http://tfl.nu/7rcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1375) Bad night (2678)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!

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  (317): Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour! http://tfl.nu/4bwc
  Replies (13) Good night (1480) Bad night (567)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.

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  (410): It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions. http://tfl.nu/65l6
  Replies (1) Good night (1227) Bad night (461)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.

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  (307): Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too. http://tfl.nu/aq9s
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (413)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW

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  (778): I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on (778): SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW http://tfl.nu/dpzm
  Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (456)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner

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  (613): I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner http://tfl.nu/w0oh
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (353)

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