1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
