I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
