i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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