12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize