Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
