i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We are two peas in an std pod
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
