He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
tell me about the eggs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
