omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize