If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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