I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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