The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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