This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
