They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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