I want you more than these girls want KFC
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
