I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is Oprah even human
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.