I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed