And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
