I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
