Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dicks are not precious.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize