And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
