So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
