This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
