My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
