wat bout pragnant strippers??
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
