I'm laying in your front yard are you home
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize