I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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