i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed