I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
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My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.