the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?