perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.