a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
