Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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