Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
