I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
