I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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