Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
