oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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