Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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