Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
