dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
