So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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