i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
