New low: just hacked my moms facebook
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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