I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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