can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
