please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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