i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.